Broken (Jelsa)
by bjorghalla
Summary: Book 1 I had friends, I had a family, I had everything, But I lost it all Because of her... Elsa I have friends, I have a family, I have everything, But I'm lost, Because I need her... Jack {WARNING: PG13. This story contains self harms, bad language and blood. You have been warned read at your own risk}
1. Chapter 1

Elsa's P.O.V

My name is Elsa Elisabeth Winters, I'm 16 years old.

I live with my Family: my dad: Angar Winters, my mom mom: Iduna Winters and of course my little sister Annabeth Winters but she is called Anna.

I go to Disworks high but I'm always alone there. Well I had friends but they were taking away from me and now I don't think they even remember who I am or if I exist.

Your probably wondering how and why my friends were taken away from me and who they are. Well let me tell you they are: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, Merida DunBroch and for the last one Jackson Overland Frost my childhood crush.

Hiccup has brown hair and brown eyes. He is cute but not my type. He likes dragons and was the smartest in the big four. Hiccup has a huge crush on Merida but is to shy to admit it.

Merida is the most tomboy in school, she has red curly hair and sky blue eyes. She loves archery more then anything in the world. Merida has a huge crush on Hiccup but she doesn't want to have her heart broken.

And finally Jack, Jack has white hair and dark blue eyes. Jack is the playboy in the school and can get every girl he wants. He likes snowflakes and snowdays and of course the color blue. Jack is now dating someone that will come to this story later.

As for me well I have platinum blonde hair and icy blue eyes nothing special. In school I am nobody, nowone notice me even the teacher never notice me it's like I have never been here at all, never been born, never been part of the big four. I like snowflakes and blue color but that doesn't matter does it?

We four were known as the big four since kindergarten until in middle school when I became nothing, I always had a crush on Jack but that crush is long gone along with my heart.

I will tell you how I lost my friends now:

Flashback

It was in middle school the school year just started and now I'm walked inside the school with my friends. I'm just walking to class she came. There came a girl up to me and asked:

"Excuse me but I'm new here can you help me find Math class?" The girl asked me. Because she was new and probably has no friends so I said:

"I'm going to that class to, you can walk with me"I said but then remember she doesn't know what my name is. I better tell her because she seems like a friendly person.

"I'm Elsa by the way" I said introducing myself to her and then I smiled at her, she smiled back at me and said:

"Rapunzel" she said. Rapunzel has a long beautiful golden blonde hair tied into a long braid and she has beautiful hazel green eyes. Me and Rapunzel walked together to math class where my friends are, we are all in the same class. I sat with the big four where we always sit and lucky for me they all were there, the class wasn't started yet so I had some time to introduce Rapunzel for the gang.

"I'm going to introduce you to my friends" I said to Rapunzel. I can see in her eyes that she is nervous for some reason but I think that is just normal I mean she is new in this school and doesn't have any friends but she will have friends. Me and the rest of the gang will be her friends I think they will like her, I mean who wouldn't?

"Oh ok"Rapunzel said. And by the way she said that i knew she was nervous but I would like to chance that.

"Hey guy's, this is Rapunzel" I said introducing her for them. They all looked at me then at Rapunzel. I hope they will like her.

"Nice to meet ya lass, I'm Merida"Merida said nicely. I guess she is just begin friendly. I sat next to Hiccup and Rapunzel next to Merida.

"I'm Hiccup" Hiccup said.

"And I am Jack"Jack said. I glanced over to Jack and I saw him looking at Rapunzel with dreamy eyes. Why can't Jack just look at me, I have had a huge crush on Jack since kindergarten but he never notices it. Why can't he just see I love him?

After few weeks when Rapunzel came, she and Jack started dating. It broke my heart to see them together holding hands and kissing. The gang wanted Rapunzel to be in the big four and I had to say he's just to be nice even if she broke my heart.

After 5 months the gang started ignoring me more and more, they ditched me in every and bailed on me. More and more they began to forget about me and don't even notice I'm next to them or when I talk they never listen to what I have to say.

They even forgot my birthday and they didn't even bother to invite me to there Christmas party. I was left alone in everything. I always sit in the back of the classroom and when I glance at them I see how happy they are with her, they were never that happy when I was there. The teacher never see me in class anymore, they never notice me.

It's like I'm invisible to everyone. Even my parents and Anna, they don't even notice me but they know I'm here. I bet they don't even remember my name by now.

My parents moved my bedroom to the basement and turned my room into Anna's second room. They never gave me to eat, if I want to eat I have to eat at school but I never eat. I only eat one banana each day.

Flashback ends

This is how I lost everything. But that was few years ago. I only have one friend left and that is my razor. I cut everyday but I don't care. It feels good to tell the truth, it takes away my pain. I love to watch my blood leak down my skin, I always cut my wrist and sometimes my waist. I cut sometimes 20-30 cuts on one day but I have to do something to take away my pain that I feel in my soul and most of all my broken heart. But who cares? No one notices me so why can't my life just end here. I lost my smile a long time ago. Well the only good thing about not begin notice is that no one wants to bully me because the bullies doesn't even notice me at all.

A new school year is about to start tomorrow. I just hope I won't see the big four, It's like they just pushed me away. Wait they did that in fact it was like I was just part of the big four only temporarily and then they got rid of me. Still I was in there gang for many years and they just replaced me for Rapunzel.

Now I'm going to sleep on my so called 'bed'. My bed is only few blankets and one pillow that is my bed. While Anna has a king size of bed and two bedrooms. She can get everything she wants but my parents doesn't even notice me, They only notice me when I have to clean the house. I'm there maid ill get out of this house and out of this life if I will get to 18 years. I have sometimes tried to do suicide, you can't really judge me. I have nothing to live for, I lost it all becauce of Rapunzel.

Oh and did I mention that Rapunzel is my cousin, she is related to me. My mother and her mother are sisters. My aunt name is Lauren Corona and my uncly name is James Corona and finally Rapunzel's full name is Rapunzel Sun Corona. So now I'm stuck with her the rest of my life yay amazing, no just kidding it is horrible to have her in my family. And when she moved here that is where my life turned into hell.

Next morning

I woke up at 05:23 a.m. That is just a normal time for me to wake up. I got to the bathroom and took a cold shower, Well there are two reasons why I take cold showers: First: I'm not allowed to use the hot water and second: I like to feel the cold water against my skin.

After taking a shower I took out my razor and began to cut myself: One- for begin a life, two- for not killing myself, three- for dreaming a good dream, four- for ever begin born, five- for begin so stubid, six- for begin ugly, seven- for begin fat, eight- for begin a bitch, nine- for begin a slut, ten- for begin a nerd, eleven- for begin a freak, twelve- for begin worthless thirteen- for begin an idiot. I cleaned the blood and washed my razor. I went back to my room to find something to wear. I'm going to wear my long sleeves sweater and jeans. I don't have much clothes but I use what I have, I don't care if the clothes are not in fashion.

I put my hair into a french braid like I always have my hair in. I put on a little of make up, well I don't have much but I don't wear macara because sometimes I cry in school and then If I have a macara it will just wash off when i cry so that is why I don't wear macara.

Now the time was only 06:57 a.m. It's better I hurry up to school I don't want to be in the crowd when he comes and I can't take the school bus because my parents doesn't want me to take the school bus because Anna will be taking the school bus and Anna is popular in the school and they say she shouldn't been seen with me. Well I don't mind walking to school, It gives me time to think how worthless my life is and stuff like that.

I skipped breakfast like everyday I just don't want to eat and my parents say I'm too fat so they don't give me to eat and they say I'm just a waste of money and I got to admit they are right I am just a waste of money.

I was now walking to my locker. I always get the same locker every year but I like it, My locker is in the hallway people are usually not and the chandelier is broken so It's always just a little light but who cares? I like it there, sometimes I write in my diary there and sometimes my notebook or do my homework there. It's really quite here and that is how I want to keep it that way.

My first class is art class. Art is my favorite class because I love to draw and I can draw whatever I want. I usually draw snowflakes or me and Anna when we were little playing in the snow. We made a snowman that we named Olaf. That were fun times but now they are all gone the only thing that is left is my memory. Even Anna doesn't remember that time but I do and I want to keep it in my memories forever.

I walked to the classroom and when I came in the teacher was sitting in his seat writing something I'm not sure what but whatever it is it's not my business. The teacher was a girl I think around 20 or something I think she is new because I have never seen her here before. She saw me and stood up from her seat and walked to me.

"Hi I'm Alexandra brown but call me Mrs. Brown, I am your art teacher what is your name dear?" Mrs. Brown asked. She was smiling at me and I fake smiled back.

"I'm Elsa Elisabeth Winters but just call me Elsa" I said still fake smiling but she bought it. I really don't want to talk to her but she is my teacher so I have to don't get me wrong or anything I'm just really shy and I'm not good at making friends or talking to people.

"Well then Elsa you may take a seat anywhere you want" Mrs. Brow said gesturing me to the class seats. I began to walk to my seat that I always sit in art class. I always sit in the back near the window and there is always dark there, the only light that I get is from the window but I'm use to work in the dark. The seat next to me is always blank because no one wants to be in the dark and no one wants to sit with me.

Soon the whole class appeared and took seat I wasn't paying attention to what the other students were doing because I want to see what the teacher is saying and what is the point of seeing what they are doing? See how happy they are and I'm not.

I took out my notebook and started drawing me as a queen with ice and snow powers. I got to say it looks pretty good but this will never happen I'm just a worthless bitch that has no the class ended but when I was on my way out guess who I saw. There walking down the hallway were the big four. Oh and did oh forgot they are the most popular people in the school. Everyone thinks that Hiccup is the smartest one in the school but that is false I am, I get higher grades that him so I am the smartest one in the school but I don't really care about that.

They didn't notice me and just walked past me without even looking at me. Why do I even try to make them notice me when clearly they don't and don't want to.

My next class is music. I like music class especially when I have to write my own song but I hate when I have to sing for the whole class. I have never sung for the whole class but from what I hear that singing infront of the class is the most embarrassing thing you can do in high school but I have never tried it so I have no idea how it is. Miss Ariel Triton is our music teacher and I like her the most but she doesn't notice me in class just like everyone else.

"Class you have 20 minutes to write your own song" Miss Triton said. I have no idea what kind of a song I should write. I drawed a picture of me as a queen with ice powers, I can write a song about that to. The song will be called 'Let it go' .

I began to write the song. Flashbacks from my childhood came into my mind and I mixed them together and this came out:

The snow glows white on the mountain tongiht,

Not a footprint to be seen.

A kingdom of isolation,

And it looks like I'm the queen.

The wind is howling,

Like this swirling storm inside.

Couldn't keep it in,

Heaven knows I've tried.

Don't let them in,

Don't let them see.

Be the good girl,

You always have to be.

Conceal,

Don't feel.

Don't let them know,

Well now they know.

Let it go, Let it go.

Can't hold it back anymore,

Let it go, Let it go.

Turn away and slam the door.

I don't care,

What they're going to say.

Let the storm rage on,

The cold never bothered me anyway.

It's funny how some distance,

Makes everything seems small.

And the fears that once controlled me,

Can't get to me at all.

It's time to see what I can do,

To test the limits and break through.

No right, No wrong, No rules for me.

I'm free.

Let it go, Let it go.

I am one with the wind and sky,

Let it go, Let it go.

You'll never see me cry.

Here I stand,

And here I'll stay.

Let the storm rage on.

My power flurries through the air into the ground.

My soul is spiraling in,

Frozen fractals all around.

And one thought,

Crystallizes like an icy blast.

I'm never going back,

The past is in the past.

Let it go, Let it go,

And I'll rise like the break of dawn.

That perfect girl is gone,

Here I stand in the light of day.

Let the storm rage on,

The cold never bothered me anyway.

This is all I got and I got to admit that this song is good but I only need a piano and then this song is perfect. But Miss Triton will never pick me to sing I'm mean who would? I'm an horrible and a terrible singer, Anna is the only good singer in the family not me.

Soon the class ended and now it's time for my lunch period but I don't use lunch to eat I use it got cut and cry in the old janitor closet. No one uses the old janitor closet anymore so it's almost empty just few things here and there.

I began to cut but I didn't care if it was bleeding and I don't care how much it would bleed but what I do care is that blood won't go on my clothes. It takes forever to clean blood out of clothes and I have to hand wash my clothes because I'm not allowed to use the washing machine to wash my clothes.

I cut myself 10 times this time. I cleaned the blood of my razor and then put it in my backpack. I washed the blood on me and then walked out of the janitor closet. Before going to class I took a banana out of my backpack and started eating, I really don't like to eat but I have to I won't faint in class or anywhere else.

Now it's only one class left of my day. It's math, I hate math. Sometimes in math I just draw, no one can say I can't because Mr. Sandy Gold never notice me in class but that is not new I'm use to it. But I still do what he tells the class to do. It sometimes I'm first to finish.

Mr. Gold doesn't speak, he writes everything down on the green board. After math I walked to my locker to put my math book because I won't need until next math class.

I walked out of the school and saw that it was raining but I don't care, I like the rain. 'Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.' I am one if those people who feel the rain. The rain is not bad it's good, everyone cries even the sky cries.

I walked home and luckily for me mom and dad are at work and Anna is getting ready for a party with the big four while I have the house all for myself tonight. Well I will get it for a little while, I have to start cleaning if I want to get paid then I have to work for it.

Well after cleaning the whole house that took only 4 hours I went to my room aka the basement and sat on the floor and began to read my favorite and only book I have If I stay. I have read that book a thousand times already and I never get bored of her.

By the time I finish the book it was already late in the night so I just went to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and took of my make up. I got dressed in my pajamas and laid down on my bed. Soon I met the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

Previously:

By the time I finish the book it was already late in the night so I just went to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and took of my make up. I got dressed in my pajamas and laid down on my bed. Soon I met the darkness.

Present:

Elsa P.O.V

I'm sitting in a cold dark room, there are no colors, no sounds, no people just dark and nothing except me alone. I stood up walking somewhere but I can't find anything or anyone.

It's really hard to find my way around because I can't see anything, I can't even see my hands but I can feel them. Soon I saw the big four and that is when the lights appeared. I was in a red creepy room with the big four and they had a evil smile's/grins on there faces.

They started walked up to me but I backed until I was up to a wall in this red room, they came closer and closer until they were only 10 centimeters from me. They started surrounding me and I got only more frightened by the second.

"What do you want?" I asked them. I'm freaking out right now, the people I hate and don't want to know, are surrounding me with a evil smile's/grins. What should I do? I can't fight them they are four and I'm just alone with no one to help me.

"We hate you"

"Your ugly"

"Slut"

"Bitch"

"Fat bitch"

"Just kill yourself"

"We never wanted you"

Now my parents and Anna joined them and started calling me names and things like that.

"Your nothing"

"Just die"

"Everyone just uses you"

"Hang your self"

"You were just a mistake"

"You have never been out real daughter"

"No one cares for you"

"We don't want you anymore"

"We were never friends"

"Go to hell"

"Freak"

"Suicidal"

"Nerd"

"Whore"

"No one loves you"

"Depressed"

"Your no one"

"No one will be in your funeral when you die"

"Loser"

"We only used you for popularity"

"STOP" I screamed. I woke panting heavily. It was just a dream. It looked so real, I have never had a dream about the big four. Usually I get nightmares about how no one loves me but this tops everything. This is the worst dream I have ever had.

I stood up from my 'bed' and walked to the window that is technically not even a window I just call it a window. It was still dark outside but the sun is coming up so I guess the time is about 4 a.m. I looked at the clock and I was close the time is 04:54 a.m.

I took a cold shower but I didn't feel like cutting right now but I will cut at school in lunch period. I'm going to take a walk around the park because I have time and plus I have nothing to do.

No one was in the park at this time but I like it like that. The only sounds I could hear are the birds songs and I hear the leaves move in the wind. It's so quiet here. I watched the sunrise it was beautiful. I took my backpack with me so when I want I can go to school.

People started coming in the park to do their morning run or take there dog's for a walk. I started walking to school but this time it was sun, I'm not really a sun person I'm more like hiding in the shadows where no one can find me.

I am now in school on my way to P.E. I don't like P.E because I never get picked in the teams. But I love when we have to run, I love running because I can run really fast and much at the same time. I'm always the first one to finish running but Mr. Bunnymund Easter never sees me or notice me.

We are playing doucheball and I am in team #2. I don't usually get the ball but when I do I just throw it in a random direction but still I don't hit the people who are not in my team, I usually hit someone in my team but they never notice I hit them, it is pretty funny but I never laugh. I haven't laughed since well since I was with the big four and that was many years ago, ok it was four years ago.

Now that I think about it I have been cutting myself and do self harm in four years, and I haven't eaten properly in four, I haven't been noticed in four years, I have been invisible for four years, four years since my heart broke, it's been four years since I lost my smile, It's been four years since I have had a Christmas, four year since I have celebrated my birthday, four years since someone cared for me, four years since I was loved for real.

I was so deep In my thoughts that I didn't see that a ball was going my way. I got hit in the head hard and fell to the floor but no one did notice it happen not even the person that throw the ball my direction, I guess that he wasn't trying to hit me just shoot in a random direction. I fell to the floor unconscious with only a pain in my head and then the darkness met me.

When I woke up, the class was leaving the gymnastics hall. How long was I unconscious lying on the cold floor. I stood up and walked out of the gymnastics hall alone obviously.

My next period doesn't start until after one hour. I went to the old janitor closet to cut but guess what. The big four were walking the same direction as me, I just hope they won't notice me go into the janitor closet and I just hope they won't notice me at all. I don't need them to see right now, they haven't been wanting to see me for four years so why would this chance anything.

I walked into the old janitor closet and they didn't even look at me so I'm free from them for now. I took up my razor and started cutting in my wrist. After a while I was done cutting ten times, I cleaned the blood and walked out of the janitor closet and like always no one saw me.

Now it's only forty minutes until next class and I have no idea what I can do. I walk to my locker and slam my back in my locker, then I sit down still with my back on my locker.

I started to draw a picture of me and Anna as little kids building a snowman. That were happy times where nothing went wrong but now I'm nothing and Anna is so beautiful. Everyone says she is so beautiful but no one in my whole life has said that to me once and I can't blame them I'm ugly as hell.

"That is a cool drawing" Someone said. I didn't notice someone was here. I looked up and saw: Jackson Overland Frost the one and only. And clearly he doesn't remember me. Well I don't want to talk to him so I shouldn'ttell him my real name. You can't blame me for not wanting to know him or talk to him, I don't even want to know him.

"Thank you" I said fake smiling at him but I don't think he believed my fake smile. I heard him clearing his throat.

"I'm Jac- Jack said but I interrupted him. He doesn't have to say his name I already know it and besides he is the most popular boy in the school witch makes no sense why he is wasting his time here with me a loser.

"Jackson Overland Frost the player in this school I know who you are" I said. I stood up at the same time and walked away to class. I didn't want to be with him anymore. He is the reason why my heart is broken into fucking million pieces.

I walked to class and sat in the back of the class hoping Jack would never find me. Soon the big four walked into the class and luckily they didn't see me just like I want it to be.

Class ended and I walked to my locker to get a banana because now it is lunch period. Like yesterday I went to the old janitor closet and began to cut but this time I started cutting deeper and more. There is a reason for that, I promised myself if someone of the big four would talk to me and I would talk back then I would cut deeper and more. I didn't expect that to happen but now I hvar cut in my wrist forth time today already.

I cleaned the blood and while I was cleaning it I heard the bell ring. I ran to class and I was lucky that I was the first one to get to class. Thank got that only Merida is with me in this class, I don't want Jack or someone in the big four to find me again. It was hard to be with Jack without crack and just burst out by crying. You have no idea how it feels like that the person who broke your heart into so many pieces you can't find them all is finally talking to you after freaking four years of ignoring you.

This is history class and I listened very carefully because Mrs. Tooth does only say everything once and If you don't hear it then your grades will get lower. I love reading in history class because that is my only chance to read and I know what you are thinking that I should just go to the school library but I can't do that. If I want to get a book from the library I have to pay for it and I can't do that, I don't have much money and that money I have I use it to buy something I really need like clothes and shampoo but I am trying to save money to buy my own apartment to get out of here. I know mom and dad would never give me money to buy apartment so I have to save for it myself.

History class ended and I am on my way home. I am walking home from school when a family walked past me. In that family were two girls one with brown hair and brown eyes and the second with brown hair and green eyes. They were happy together and the parents were smiling at their daughter's. I wish my parents would be like that to me not only Anna just us both. I have no idea what i did to deserve this but whatever it is I guess it is begin born.

I began to think about that dream I had earlier this morning. I don't know if it was a vision or just a nightmare. It could be both or it could be nether of them. Maybe it was just a normal dream but about people that hurt me the most all of them. Even mom and dad the people who should care for you but my parents hate me they don't love me at all in fact no one loves me.

When I got home Anna was waiting for something by the door so I couldn't come in even when I tried. But she stepped aside and let me in. That is not what she does, I know she is up to something and wants something from me.

"Ugly your late, my room needs to be cleaned" Anna said. See I told you she wants something from me. She wants me to clean her room and let me guess she has made it extra messy for me to clean. I saw about to get my cleaning tools when Anna stopped me.

"And this is for begin late" Anna said as she kicked me in the stomach. I fell to the floor in pain but I didn't cry even if it did hurt really much but I'm not showing I'm weak. They will just use my weakness against me. I stood up from the floor and walked to my 'room' to get my cleaning tools.

After one hour and twenty minutes I was finally finished with Anna's room but something tells me I have to clean something more. I walked to my 'room' and on the door I saw a list?. I read the list and on it were chores for me to do before mom and dad come home. I think Anna enjoy's to give me chores and make my life a living hell but she usually ignores me like everyone else. When she need something from me she doesn't ingores me but she is cruel and rude to me.

My chores were like: Clean the windows, Swipe the floors then scrub them, Do everyone's laundry, Make Dinner for Everyone, clean every place in the house including the roof. When They say "Everyone" they mean everyone excep me of course.

Why can't I just die. It would be better than begin alive and fell endless pain besides no one would care if I would be gone forever, no one would care if I would die, no one would notice me died. What is the point of living? I feel like I am alive to feel pain and be depressed. I think they are right in my dream I am all of these things. So why can't my life just end here and now? Can't I just cut too deep and bleed to death?But God wants me to be alive to punish me for begin born.

I looked in my backpack for my razor but he was no where to be found. Where is my razor? Oh no I left it in the janitor closet by accident, I was hurrying to class I forgot to put it into my backpack. Then what should I cut with? I just have to find something sharp. The only Problem is that there is nothing in my 'room' sharp enough for me to cut and I can't skip cutting tonight, I have to cut every day.

I took my diary from my hiding spot. I took a pen and started to write:

Dear diary,

today I met Jack it was terrible to see him again he doesn't remember who I am or how I look like.

At least I began to cut deeper than before and it feels better to cut deep and let the blood leak down my wrist.

I can't cut tonight because I accidentally left my razor in the janitor closet, I just hope no one would find it there but I will cut extra tomorrow when I have my razor.

Anna kicked me in the stomach and now I have a bruise on my stomach that doesn't hurt that much only a little but I'm use to pain by now so I'm okey with it, to tell the truth it kinda felt nice to feel pain and not just pain from my cutting.

I hate my life and I really want it to end but something is keeping me from doing suicide.

Until next time,

~Elsa.

This is what I usually write in my diary. I never write anything good only the things that happen to me, witch are not happy times. I don't even use the word "happy" anymore.

I started remembering the times mom and dad use to love me and had friends but the memory I will never forget is the memory of me and Anna building a snowman together. That is why I draw it because I want to remember it and keep it in my memories forever or at least until I will do suicide witch I am going to do and nothing can stop me from doing it.

Flashback

Me and Anna went to bed after our mother read a story for us. But when mom and dad were asleep Anna always tried to get me to play with her in winter when it was snowing.

"Elsa wake up, wake up, wake up" Anna whispered in my ear. I just pretend to be asleep for fun. Anna started shaking me hoping to wake me up.

"Anna go back to sleep" I said to Anna as I pushed her out of my bed. I don't understand how a five years old can be awake at this hour. I am just eight years old and I think it's hard to be awake at this hour how can she is not tired?

Anna claimed back in my room. Now she has found a new idea to get me to play with her. I would like to know what she has in mind. She opened one of my eyes and said:

"Do you want to build a snowman?" Anna said excited. I began to smile because I love building a snowman, I mean who wouldn't?

We had a lot of fun, we skated and we went to a snow fight witch she won but only because I let her win, she is younger than me so why not letting her win and besides you don't have to win the point is to have fun. What could go wrong?

We build a snowman that we named Olaf. Olaf is the most cutest snowman that me and Anna have made together so far.

"I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs" I said in a boy voice or I'm trying to at least. Anna ran and hugged Olaf and said:

"I love you Olaf" Anna said laughing witch made me laugh with her. Soon we went inside and back to sleep without our parents to know that we were outside playing in the snow.

Flashback ends

I loved this times when I had fun 24/7. I wish it could be like that again, but it can't I just have to face it, I will never be loved and have friends nor have fun ever again.


	3. Chapter 3

_Previously:_

 _I loved this times when I had fun 24/7. I wish it could be like that again, but it can't I just have to face it, I will never be loved and have friends nor have fun ever again._

 _Present:  
_

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 **Elsa P.O.V  
**

* * *

It's Friday today. My best day of the week. The only problem about Fridays is school. I hate weekends because I have to clean all day long for two days, and yes it's all day without any break. And when I finish my chores they will give me more even when I have already done them. That is my life every weekend not special but at nigh I cut and cry myself to sleep. I don't really care how much blood I will lose I just need to cut to take away the pain of begin a life and just to take all of my pain.

I walked to school but it was raining, it rains a lot here and at this time at year even more. it's autumn now and it's only been three days of school. This is going to be a long school year for me.

I was still walking and I was soaking wet but I'm almost to the school. I walked inside the school and like always when I arrive at school only the teacher are here and they are starting a new school day.

I can't get my razor until my first class is over but after that I will go get him and cut. I miss my razor, I miss cutting myself, I miss feeling pain when I cut myself, I miss crying out of pain when I cut myself, I miss my razor too much you can't really blame me my razor is my only friend that I have. I feel lost without my razor.

My first period today is drama. I love drama class because it's has many play's that I adore. We are reading and acting Romeo and Juliet. I've always loved reading something from William Shakespeare. Some random kids that I don't know are acting Romeo and Juliet but the best part is that they are boyfriend and girlfriend right?

Now they are playing the part where they have to kiss and that only reminds me that I will never get my first kiss nor my last kiss. I wanted to my first kiss to Jack and me his first but his first was with Rapunzel. I don't even know why I tried to get Jack to like me when clearly he doesn't, never has and never will. But I'm over Jack now, well he can't break a broken heart can he? But sometimes I feel like an idiot for trying well in fact I am an idiot and really stupid, I can go on and on how worthless I am for a long time but I will do that later I don't have time now. Ok I have time but class just ended and I have to get my razor and cut.

When the class ended I went to the janitor closet and find my razor. After looking for awhile I finally found it still covered in my blood but it wasn't fresh it was obviously dry.

I began to cut myself: one...two...three...four... After awhile I was done cutting fifty scars on my wrist and some on my legs and some on my waist. I felt pain and I began to cry but I don't care about the pain or the blood, I care about taking the pain I feel inside not on the outside, I don't care how much pain I feel on my skin. I just sat there crying and bleeding but who cares?

I started cleaning the blood on my razor and then I cleaned my scars. I put my razor into my backpack this time and walked out of the janitor closet and went to my locker to get a banana to eat even when I don't really want to eat right now but I have to if I don't want to faint and so I can be in class.

Your probably wondering why and how I stopped eating, well...

* * *

 **Flashback  
**

* * *

Now it's been a few months since I lost my friends and it's been few months since my family started ignoring me and made me a maid. I am now walking home from school, I hope I won't have to clean up much I mean it's Monday I have homework to do.

I saw Anna in the window with a evil smile on her face. Something is not right here, it is like she was waiting for me or something and she never does that so she wants something from me. And now I just have to figure out what she wants and get it over with.

She just walked past me like I wasn't there but when I walked past the kitchen I saw that the chandelier saw broken on the floor. It will take forever to clean up and mom and dad are coming home soon and if they see this they will freak out. And they won't punish Anna for breaking the chandelier they will punish me for 'breaking' the chandelier.

While I was cleaning I heard someone clear their throat. I looked up and saw my parents looking at me with a very angry look on their faces. They thought I was the one who broke the chandelier even when I tried to tell the truth but they wouldn't believe it but the thing that hurted me the most is:

"You are our maid, how dare you putting our daughter in danger she can easily step on one of those broken glass pieces" Dad said. My eyes started getting watery by those words, it's like I'm not even their daughter but I'm related by blood. I am their blood daughter and so is Anna.

"And before I forget you will and forever not eat anything with us or eat in this house am I clear?" Dad asked me. I can't eat with them or eat here then where will I eat?

"Yes, father" I answered back to him. And just by saying two words I get a slap on my left cheek that really hurts. I felt much pain and my vision was getting blurry by tears but i refuse them to fall down.

"Never call me father, you will from now on call me Sir and my wife will be called Madam and our little daughter will be called Miss, never use our names is that understood?" Dad asked. I'm still going to call hi dad in my mind but when I talk I will call them this. And I won't get it wrong, I don't want to be slapped again. It hurts like hell.

"Yes, Sir" I said. Dad dismissed me and I had to clean this mess all night plus I had to do homework at the same time as I was cleaning.

I went to bed without dinner and it was torture at first but I got use to it and now it feels really good to not eat anything. Remind me to thank dad for helping me become thin like I always wanted to be. I only buy bananas to eat one at a day.

* * *

 **Flashback ends  
**

* * *

This is the story how I started starve myself but it's okay I'm fine or not well I don't care about how I feel. I just care about school and cutting. That is the right thing to do right?

I walked to the school garden where no one is. I sat under a tree, I like when the leaves are in many colors like yellow, red and orange. I just sat there for awhile. After sitting there for I think ten minutes well who knows? And who is keeping track of the time, well not me for sure. I only have one clock and that clock I use in my 'room'.

* * *

 _Is anybody there,_

 _Does anybody care,_

 _What I'm feeling?_

 _I wanna disappear,_

 _So nobody can hear me,_

 _When I'm screaming._

 _Cause i could use a hand sometimes,_

 _Yeah I could use a hand sometimes._

 _They say pain is illusion._

 _This is just a bruise and,_

 _You are just confused but,_

 _I am only human._

 _I could use a hand sometimes,_

 _I am only human,_

 _I am only human,_

 _I am only human._

 _The nigh is bitter cold._

 _I wonder if you know,_

 _That I'm sleepless._

 _Waitin like a ghost._

 _When I need you the most,_

 _I go unnoticed._

 _Cause I could use a hand sometimes,_

 _Yeah I could use a hand sometimes._

 _They say pain is illusion._

 _This is just a bruise and,_

 _You are just confused but,_

 _I am only human._

 _I could use a hand sometimes,_

 _I am only human,_

 _I am only human,_

 _The weight of the world is pullin me down._

 _(Where are you now, where are you now)_

 _Every breath feels like I'm gonna drown._

 _(Where are you now, where are you now)_

 _I'm the only one left to hold on, oh._

 _Singing this song but can't find the words._

 _Cause I could use a hand sometimes,_

 _Yeah I could use a hand sometimes._

 _They say pain is illusion._

 _This is just a bruise and,_

 _You are just confused but,_

 _I am only human._

 _I could use a hand sometimes,_

 _I am only human.  
_

* * *

I stopped singing. But I just had to sing this song because this is how I feel inside my heart. I just don't understand why God picked me to suffer and I know for a fact that everything that happens, happens for some reason and when I find out what reason God is punishing me with I will do everything to fix it. I mean haven't I suffer enough?

"That is a beautiful song you know" Jack said who I think appeared out of no where or I just didn't realize he walked here. I don't want him near me ever again so why does he keep bothering me he hasn't bother to talk to me in four years and now suddenly he comes and talks to me like nothing ever happened or he just forgot everything about me, I think that is the reason but it still hurts in my broken heart.

"It depends" I answered putting a fake smile on my face because I really want to go and get as far away from him as possible. I want to say "I hate you" but I can't, I'm just not strong enough to do it. I just have to face it I'm weak, always has always will be and I can't change the fact that I'm nothing.

"So you know my name, can I know yours?" Jack asked with a smirk on his face that I use to love but now it's disgusting, I don't get what ever girl sees in that smirk, you see Jack is the hottest boy in the school well I don't think so, ok he is hot but not my type not anymore at least. No way he is going to know my name. If he knows my name he will just use me again and besides why would he be with someone who is nothing? And why on earth did it have to be him, the person who does notice me?

"Nope" I said as I stood up from the ground and walked inside the school because the bell just rung, leaving him there speechless probably because his famous smirk didn't work on me like all the other girls in the school.

Wow I'm lucky, my next class is music and I feel like writing a new song. I just can't get enough of writing songs and singing them but I'm the most terrible singer in the world and Jack just heard me sing well I'm not embarrassed because I don't want him to like me or be friends with me, I don't want to know him and I bet he doesn't want to know me either.

I bet one of his friend dared him to talk to me or talk to the most unnoticed person in the school or something I mean why would the most popular boy in the entire school suddenly talk to me randomly.

I saw Jack in music class but he has no idea that I am in this class. Oh why do I always think of Jack? I need to forget about him as soon as possible, he will just break my broken heart.

* * *

 **Jack P.O.V  
**

* * *

Hi my name is Jackson Overland Frost but everyone just calls me Jack Frost. I am 16 years old and I live with my family: my dad: Manny Frost my mom: Luna Frost and then there is my little sister Emma Rose Frost.

I have white hair like my dad and dark blue eyes like my mom but my pale skin I get from both of them. Emma has brown hair like mom and brown eyes like dad but she doesn't have pale skin like the rest of us.

I am part of the big four and we have been friends for about four years but I don't remember how we met but that doesn't matter right? We are all four together and that is how we like it. I am dating Rapunzel witch is the most beautiful girl in the school but I know a girl who is prettier than Rapunzel and I don't even know her name she won't tell me, she is so mysterious and I don't even know if she is in my classes well I never see her in class with me but I won't stop looking for her.

She has beautiful platinum blonde hair and beautiful icy blue eyes that I can get lost in, she must be new in this school because I have never seen her here before. But I think I may have a tiny bit crush on her but I'm in love with Rapunzel I have no idea what I can do. I don't want to break Rapunzel's heart and I really don't want to be with her anymore. This girl has the most amazing singing voice ever I think even more beautiful than Rapunzel's voice and Rapunzel only sings one song that she calls: flower gleam and glow. Weird right? The big four has no idea I am trying to find her but if they see me with her I'm crushed.

Something about this girl is special I just feel it but I don't think she is happy in her life, I mean she is always alone I think and I can see it in her eyes that she is not happy even I can see through her fake smile she is unhappy, she even write songs about sadness. I heard her sing in the school garden and then she just disappears out of no where. I saw she is skinny as hell, does she even eat? Well to me it doesn't look like it, could she be anorexic? It could make sense since she has build walls around her I think or at least it seems like that she has.

I will find her and break her walls down, mark my words on that.

* * *

 **Elsa P.O.V  
**

* * *

School today is now over and I have a whole weekend ahead of me, well not so much I have to clean the house. Mom, dad and Anna are going on a vacation to a private island and I am left here alone cleaning the house all by myself. But when I clean I can take my mind of things like school and my family.

I have cleaned the whole house and mom, dad and Anna just left to their vacation, they are going to be in one month. I know it's a little too much and school just started, it's rather strange isn't it? But who cares? Well not me.

I took a walk in the park and I noticed that there were a lot of couple holding hands. I wish someone would hold my hand like that, and I wish someone cares for me like they do but that will never happen to me.

I love being in the park because it's makes me remember my old friends but I don't need them now I have a friend, actually a very good friend that helps me take away my pain and that is of course my razor. I always miss him when I go somewhere like class's or walks in the park or just normal walks, and I miss him when I am done cutting.

I hope that when I go to school on Monday that Jack will stop noticing me like everyone else. That will help really much, that will spear me another heartbreak that he gave me last time. If I see him I will ignore him completely but then he won't stop bothering me all day and all week, oh I can't let him do that.

I was just sitting on a bench when I saw that the big four came into the park, and of course Jack and Rapunzel were holding hands and kissing each other. I think I have to puke. It's still hurts seeing the big four and they don't remember me or even know I am here.

I took up my book and I need to say it again favorite and only book I have and that is If I stay. That is the best book ever and I have told you everything about it and we do t have to go through that again. I was starting on page seventeen when the big four walked past the bench I was sitting on. Lucky me that they didn't see me and even Jack didn't see me, I can thank god for that.

I wonder how my life would have turned out if I would still be part of the big four and I wasn't anorexic and the worst of all I didn't cut. My life would suck if I didn't cut because is life. I usually don't use the word anorexic I use starving but I think it's good to be anorexic I mean why eating? If I eat I have to buy food for myself every week that costs really much instead I can just buy banana every week that doesn't cost much it's better to do that.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

* * *

 _Previously:_

 _I wonder how my life would have turned out if I would still be part of the big four and I wasn't anorexic and the worst of all I didn't cut. My life would suck if I didn't cut because is life. I usually don't use the word anorexic I use starving but I think it's good to be anorexic I mean why eating? If I eat I have to buy food for myself every week that costs really much instead I can just buy banana every week that doesn't cost much it's better to do that._

 _Present:_

* * *

 **Elsa P.O.V**

* * *

I walked out of the park after watching the big four for a moment, I don't know if Jack saw me and I don't really care. He is happy with his gang that I use to be part of but they threw me out and replaced me without saying anything to me well they said it but in a ignoring way.

I began to think so much about this, I began to cry and run home. No one was home so I can cry peacefully without anyone to disturbing me and I really like it. But I wonder how it is to cry in someone's shoulder, I have see people do it but never tried it on my own and probably never will.

I walked into the bathroom to clean away all my tears but when I looked into the mirror I saw the ugliest person who has ever lived and that is me. I'm so ugly and fat and worthless, I deserve to die. Everyone will be happy if my life would just end here and now. And that is what I am going to do. I have decided that I am going to kill myself and I don't expect someone to find my body anytime soon.

I began to sing about this:

 _Take a look at my body,_

 _Look at my hands._

 _There is so much here,_

 _That I don't understand._

 _Your face say,_

 _These promises._

 _Whispered like prayers,_

 _I don't need them._

 _Because I've been treated so wrong,_

 _I've been treated so long._

 _As if I'm becoming untouchable,_

 _Well content loves the silence._

 _It thrives in the dark,_

 _With fine winding tendrils._

 _That strangle the heart,_

 _They say that promises sweeten the blow._

 _But I don't need them,_

 _No I don't need them._

 _I've been treated so wrong,_

 _I've been treated so long._

 _As if I'm becoming untouchable,_

 _I'm a slow dying flower._

 _Frost killing hour,_

 _The sweet turning sour._

 _And untouchable,_

 _Oh I need the darkness, the sweetness,_

 _The sadness, the weakness,_

 _I need this._

 _I need a lullaby,_

 _A kiss goodbye._

 _Angel sweet love of my life,_

 _Oh I need this._

 _I'm slow dying flower,_

 _Frost killing hour._

 _The sweet turning sour,_

 _And untouchable._

 _Do you remember,_

 _The way._

 _That you touched,_

 _Me before._

 _All the trembling,_

 _Sweetness._

 _I loved,_

 _And adored?_

 _Your face saving promises,_

 _Whispered like prayers._

 _I don't need them,_

 _I need the darkness, the sweetness._

 _The sadness, the weakness,_

 _I need this._

 _I need a lullaby,_

 _A kiss goodbye._

 _Angel sweet love of my life,_

 _Oh I need this._

 _Is it dark enough?_

 _Can you see me?_

 _Do you want me?_

 _Can you reach me?_

 _Or I'm leaving,_

 _You better shut your mouth._

 _Hold your breath,_

 _Kiss me now._

 _You'll catch my death,_

 _Oh I mean it._

 _Oh I mean it._

I don't know how many songs I make but the are all about how I feel except let it go. I feel so free when I sing somehow, even tho I have a really terrible voice. Anna is the only singer in our family not me and her just her.

How am I going to kill myself? I could hand myself but that is to easy, I want to have painful death. I can't kill myself with a knife because I'm use to bleed. Wait I can jump of a bride where no one can find my body or I can take a lot of pills but that isn't painful death, then how should I do it.

I went to bed thinking about how I am going to kill myself but the darkness won over me and I fell into it, I had fallen asleep.

Soon I opened my eyes and it was still dark outside. I looked at my alarm and I slept for two hours, it seemed like forever. I got out of bed and walked to my bathroom to take a shower. I don't care if it's the middle of the night, I just want to go on a walk outside.

I walked into the park where I always is, well I feel nice in it but not nice enough to take away all my problems. No one was here but somehow I felt like I wasn't alone in this park. Something was telling me to go home but I don't care what or who is here I just want to spend some peace and quiet here outside where no one is but if someone is here then it's ok with me.

Soon the feeling stopped that someone was here with meI watched the night sky turn into a sunrise that is very beautiful. When people started coming inside the park I walked home, I don't feel very well when there are people around me. I know that happens all the time in school but that are kids on my age but these people are old and young that are not in the school except for the teacher but that is different, ok you get my point I hope.

I began to clean the house but I started thinking that I haven't cut today, after I'm done cleaning I have to start cutting. I don't know what I will do if I hadn't start cutting...

* * *

 **Flashback**

* * *

It is Christmas and no one came to me, I Invited the gang and my family but no one came. It's only six presents under the tree and that is the gifts I was going to give to my family and friend but nothing I'm all alone. I walked to Anna's room and I was about to knock when I saw my family opening gifts and having fun together without me. I began to cry from what I saw but the thing that is stabbing my heart is this:

"The whole family together without the maid" dad said, they still think of me as a ,aid instead of their daughter. I ran out of the house and to the gang but when I got there I didn't feel better I just felt worse. I saw all of them laughing and smiling together without me, every has someone except me. I have no one.

I saw the stars in the night sky, I wish I could have a perfect Christmas.

 _Starlight light, star bright._

 _First star I see tonight._

 _I wish I may, I wish I might,_

 _Have this wish I wish tonight._

 _When I wish on a star,_

 _Gaze upon it form a far,_

 _I believe what's troubling me,_

 _Can melt away like snow._

 _This isn't where we want to be,_

 _There is so much more we want to see._

 _Sparkling lights, city sites,_

 _Busy streets below._

 _I will keep doing all I can do._

 _I will keep wishing,_

 _Cause wishes come true._

 _I'm dreaming our Christmas will turn out right._

 _That's the wish I wish,_

 _Tonight._

 _When I wish my heart is full,_

 _Everything is possible._

 _I can see beyond the clouds,_

 _Feel the stars as they all flow._

 _I will keep doing all I can do,_

 _I will keep wishing cause wishes come true._

 _I'm dreaming our Christmas will turn out right,_

 _That is the wish I wish,_

 _Tonight._

 _I will keep doing all I can do._

 _I will keep wishing cause wishes come true,_

 _I'm dreaming our Christmas will turn out right._

 _That's the wish I wish,_

 _That's the wish I wish._

 _That's the wish I wish,_

 _Tonight._

I sang a song to the stars hoping a wish star heard it and make my wish come true. I walked to my 'room' and cry myself to sleep. When I wake up I go and see the tree with the gifts I made for my friends and family but now they are just nothing just like me. I took on up but I accidentally cut myself from the paper its wrapped in.

The blood is leaking down my arm but somehow it doesn't hurt me instead it feel good. After letting the blood leak a little I cleaned it.

* * *

 **Flashback ends**

* * *

After that I just started cutting to take away my pain. Since then I never celebrated Christmas or my birthday. Well that doesn't matter right now does it? I cut and I love it so much I think I love it more then anything in the world.

I began to clean while thinking how I'm going to kill myself. And I designed that I will take pills, let me bleed to nearly death and then jump from a bridge and into the ocean. That will be a good death for me and I can finally put an end to my misery.

Well now I'm done cleaning for today, I have only one day of head of me doing nothing. Well I can cut myself since I have nothing to do.

Soon I was done cutting twenty-four times but this time I didn't clean the blood of my arms. I just let it leak down my palms and arms.

I'm thinking of buying a new book to keep me busy. I walked to the book store. There are so many books here, I have no idea what book I can pick. After looking for awhile I found a book that I hope I like and that book is the Hunger Games.

I paid for the book and then walked out of the store. While I was walking home I saw Jack, great he is here.

I started walking faster but he catched me, I mean he is the best boy runner in the school. I didn't stop walking to talk to him but I don't want him to know where I love even if he knows what I live, so I walked the other way from my home.

"Hey wait up" Jack said but I ignored him completely. I don't need him in my life again I don't need him and I don't want him. He was calling metro stop but he was right beside me.

"I told you to wait and where are you going?" Jack asked me grabbing by wrist and pulling me to him. He was pressing on my scars and it really hurts, I had to bite my lip to not scream. I have to get rid of him.

"If you really want to know, I'm in a hurry and I'm going home so why don't you just hang out with little miss perfect your girlfriend" I snapped at him and he deserves it. I got free from his grip and walked away from him but he followed me again.

"Why are you acting like that?" Jack asked me while following m somewhere I have no where I am going. I have to get away from him as fast as possible. I just started walking somewhere randomly with Jack on my heels well technically not heels just following I don't even own heels,you get my point I hope.

"Acting like what? I'm just acting natural is that dangerous or something?" I asked getting mad by him. And by his face I think he is getting mad too but is calming down unlike me. I don't understand, why hasn't he forgot about me again?

"Your acting like you hate me for no reason" Jack said, yeah for no reason he really doesn't remember me does he? It's like I was never part of his life or anyone's actually. Even the new teachers have forgotten about me.

"I do hate you and I have many reason, they are so many I can't even count them and I would like to walk alone home without you following me so get lost" I snapped at him then ran away. It felt kinda good to use my anger on him and I want to keep doing that until he will leave me alone like I'm use to.

I had to run all the way home with by the way was very far because I had walked really far away from my house and that is what I want Jack to think that I live there instead where I really live. Jack is known for his good looks not for his 'genius brain' and and that was a sarcasm just to let you know. So if he is a genius he will leave me alone with he isn't so he is going to bother me but I have a plan, how I will get rid of him and get him out of my life. And that plan is called Suicide. And that plan will work because he will be out of my life forever because I will be dead.

I took my razor and began to cut while I was reading the book, I want to both these things and why not just mix it together but I just have to be careful not to get any blood on my book. I don't want my new book to be ruined because of my blood.

After cleaning my blood and reading for awhile the door bell rung. That's strange no one comes here except Anna's friends but they know that she is on a private island. I but on a long sleeve shirt and opened the door.

I just opened for Jack Frost the one and only. Yay he is now following me completely.

"Are you stalking me?" I asked him but he ignored me and asked me something that I wasn't expecting.

"Why are you in the Winters house?" Jack asked me and walked inside without me saying he can, how rude of him just come inside someone else's house uninvited. What can I say? I can't say I'm their older daughter and your old friend can I? No out of the question I will say that.

"I'm there maid, what are you doing here?" I asked but he keeps ignoring my questions by asking me questions that he wants answers from. This is getting annoying.

"Now you are going to tell me your name, and you will tell me or I will use the hard way and you don't want to know the hard way" Jack said, wow I'm so afraid of him and that was a sarcasm. What can he possibly do to me.

"I wont tell you and if you don't get out of here now I will call the police" I threatened him while grabbing the telephone, I'm not good with phone because I obviously don't have one but I have seen everyone use phone and besides I can figure this out by myself like I do with everything.

Jack suddenly took my phone out of my hands, smart really smart.

"Are you going to tell me or do I have to look at your wrist's" Jack said. Wait did he see me cut my wrist's, if he did why does he care?

"Fine my name is Elisabeth" I said. Well I didn't lie my name is Elsa Elisabeth Winters, so that does not count as lie I think. I just used my middle name.

"Well then Elisabeth can I call you Elisa or Elsie?" Jack asked. That only reminds me of when we were little. Jack use to call me Elsie, I always thought it was cute but now I kinda hate it.

"Elisabeth is fine thank you and now can you leave this house now" I dai trying to say it kindly and putting a fake smile to Make him leave.

"I won't leave until you tell me why you hate me" Jack said. If I would tell the truth then he will just question it more so I think I will lie a little and tell the truth a little. That is a good idea I think. I just hope he will believe it.

"Fine beacuse of you I lost my friends. End of story now go" I said. Well it was technically Rapunzel who took away my friends but I hope he will buy this. I can't lie like this anymore it's killing me.

"What friends?" Jack asked while walking to the door. I has never been like this before. It's like he wants to know everything about me but he will only know what I want him to know. I'm not an open book like him, I'm more like a shielded book with tons of locks on it and that book is burning in a fire not out of anger just out of pain something like that.

"I don't say names but I will make a nickname for all of them, the first one I will call summer, the next one is autumn, the third is spring and the fourth is winter. Happy now?" I asked him. I think you know who is each season but if you don't I will tell you. Summer: Rapunzel, spring: Hiccup, autumn: Merida and finally winter is of course: Jack.

"Thank you for telling me, now come on" Jack said. Where does he want me to go and there is no way I'm going with him somewhere that is out of the question.

"Where?" I asked. If he is taking me to his gang then I refuse to go with him in fact I don't even want to be near him or anyone in the big four.


	5. Chapter 5

_Previously:_

 _"Where?" I asked. If he is taking me to his gang then I refuse to go with him in fact I don't even want to be near him or anyone in the big four._

 _Present:_

 **Elsa P.O.V**

"Somewhere you can get food" Jack said. No way I don't eat. I'm trying to be skinny here and he is not going to ruin that for me.

"Why can't you just leave? And I have already eaten" I said. I'm not going with him no matter what. if he thinks I'm that stubid to go with him then he is the stubid one here.

"Come on, it will be fun I promise" Jack said. Gross, I would rather die then spend another day with him so he can just break my heart again.

"I'd rather hang myself then be with you" I said as I closed the door behind me hoping he would go away. But guess what he kept on ringing the doorbell. He has been doing it for one hour, doesn't he get tired of this I know I would get tired by standing there and ringing the doorbell. He doesn't know that after hearing this bell for freaking one hour I'll get use to it but I don't want to tell him. I like to see him suffer just like I suffered.

I went to my room and looked through my old stuff that I hadn't looked at for four years. I saw the Christmas gifts I was going to give the big four and my family, they are still wraped up. I found the letters I wrote for the big four when they started ignoring me. I started reading them all four:

 _To: Merida._

 _Merida, We were not always friends like when we began to fight over nothing, but I want you to know that you will always be my friend even if you don't remember me. I have always loved your stories, my favorite story from you was the story when you turned your mother into bear and then your little brothers. I hope you will become the best archery in the world, I know that is your dream. Keep on dreaming because dreams comes true._

 _From: your ex friend Elsa._

This was the first letter that I read and i began to get tears in my eyes just by reading this because I know i was crying while writing this I remember it all. The next letter I read is for Hiccup.

 _To: Hiccup._

 _Hiccup, You were always the person I could count on, I could tell you everything and you told me everything but don't worry I would never tell anyone your dark secret and I hope you won't tell anyone mine because I trust you more than anyone in this world. Kepp on reading books about Dragons and maybe you can find something in them that can lead you to a real dragon like you have always wanted._

 _From: your ex friend Elsa._

I was now fully crying I don't care I just want to have friend again anf have fun but deep inside i know that it will never happen. But I will always remember the time when we had fun, when we were scared, when we were sad _._

The last letter I read was for Jack and that was the sadest one I wrote.

 _To: Jack._

 _Jack, I know you will never like me but I can't make you love me even when I want to, I love you so much that it hurts to see you with Rapunzel. But if your happy then I will be happy even if it breaks me apart. So you know I will always have you in one of the pieces in my broken heart. I will never forget you but you have already forgotten about me so I lost my chances with you but maybe it's for the best that I will stay invisible._

 _From: your ex friend Elsa._

I put the letters back into the box where I found them in. I took my razor and started cutting but instead of just doing scars I wrote something:

I wrote _"I will never be good enough"_ I wrote this on my arm. And I know that I will never be never has and never will be I know that for a fact. I stood up and cleaned the blood then walked to the kitchen, I saw that Jack was gone. He wasn't ringing the doorbell anymore I guess he got tired of it finally. I have no idea how long I was reading and cutting these words but at least he is gone.

I don't want to eat ever again. I'm going to stop eating one banana each day, It's best that way. I don't care if I starve to death I just want to end my life.

I looked over at the night sky and saw that the moon is full tonight. It's so beautiful like this. I walked to the balcony of the house.

"Why me?" I asked the moon even if I know that the moon will never answear me but somehow I feel like the moon helps me or protects me somehow. I feel good when I'm in the moonlight. I waited for few minutes hoping that the moon would help me but I guess it's just a myth. The myth says that the moon picked four guardians and they are: The Santa, The Tooth fairy, The Easter bunny and the Sandman. I know only kids believe in this stuibid myth but somehow i feel like the moon did all that. Something is telling me that the moon is alive. Why am I thinking like that? these are just stubid kids stories.

I walked back inside and went to bed crying like most night's. I fell into the darkness alone with no one here like always butn I'm use to be alone.

 **Jack P.O.V**

I know you think I left but I didn't leave. I just got inside the house through the window. I know you think that is breaking in but I don't think so. I'm just trying to help her, I'm still in shock after I saw her cut herself and reading at the same time like she is use to it. She didn't cry and she just let the blood leak down her arms. She needs help but I don't think she has someone to help her and I don't think the Winters family helps her I mean she is there maid but that doesn't mean they souldn't care about her health.

I saw that she was reading letters while crying. I guess these letters mean a lot to her. After readin the last letter she took out a razor and started cutting her self again. I saw A LOT of scars on her arms and I saw that she wrote something in her skin but I couldn't see what she wrote. I want to know what she wrote.

She began to clean her blood like she has done this many times. She walked to the balcony and said:

"Why me?" She said as she looked up to the moon. I could her her voice was cracking but she was trying to say it normally. After she has been there for a few minutes she walked to the basement and got into pajamas and don't worry I didn't look when she was chancing. She laid down on few blankets who were on the floor and she put her head on a pillow I think that is her room.

I waited for awhile then I walked around the house. This house only reminds me of one person: Elsa. Elsa was part of the big four but then she started hanging out with others or at least that is what Rapunzel said I mean Rapunzel is her cousin but no one has seen Elsa in four years.

I saw those letter Elisabeth was reading before. I don't know if I sould read them or not. I need to see why she was crying while reading them. I took the first letter and started reading it:

 _To: Merida._

 _Merida, We were not always friends like when we began to fight over nothing, but I want you to know that you will always be my friend even if you don't remember me. I have always loved your stories, my favorite story from you was the story when you turned your mother into bear and then your little brothers. I hope you will become the best archery in the world, I know that is your dream. Keep on dreaming because dreams comes true._

 _From: your ex friend Elsa._

The first letter was to Merida from Elsa? This is very strange. What does she mean with "even if you don't remember me" and ex friend? I started reading the next letter:

 _To: Hiccup._

 _Hiccup, You were always the person I could count on, I could tell you everything and you told me everything but don't worry I would never tell anyone your dark secret and I hope you won't tell anyone mine because I trust you more than anyone in this world. Kepp on reading books about Dragons and maybe you can find something in them that can lead you to a real dragon like you have always wanted._

 _From: your ex friend Elsa._

This letter was for Hiccup. I'm not understanding anything about these letters. Why does Elisabeth have them and where is Elsa? There was only one letter left and I don't know if I want to read it but I have to read it:

 _To: Jack._

 _Jack, I know you will never like me but I can't make you love me even when I want to, I love you so much that it hurts to see you with Rapunzel. But if your happy then I will be happy even if it breaks me apart. So you know I will always have you in one of the pieces in my broken heart. I will never forget you but you have already forgotten about me so I lost my chances with you but maybe it's for the best that I will stay invisible._

 _From: your ex friend Elsa._

Wait Elsa loves me? I had no idea and she says it's better for her to stay invisible. Wait Elsa's full name is Elsa Elisabeth Winters, the name Elisabeth is in it just like there maid. And I remember Elsa has platinum blonde hair and icy blue eyes just like there maid. OMG there maid is Elsa, she has been in front of my nose the entire time but why is she a maid for her own family and why does she sleep on the floor in the basement? I need to get answers for these questions as soon as possible and I'm going to get out of here because I don't want her to wake up and I'm in her house. I will ask her in school without the big four to find out but this will be hard she always disappears somewhere.

 **Elsa P.O.V**

I woke up and it's Sunday yay it's Sunday the day I have nothing to do. Normal people spend there Sunday's with their families but I always spend it alone cleaning or cutting but that is just my life.

I didn't finish the book I was reading yesterday so I took out the book and sat on the cold floor. I am not aloud to use the chairs or the sofa so I have to sit on the cold floor but I don't really care about being cold. The cold kinda feels nice if you think about it but I hate goosebumps. They are so disgusting and weird an- ok let's just say I don't like them.

I finished the book and it was amazing. I stood up from the cold floor and put the book back where it belongs but when I was about start cut I heard the doorbell. Are you kidding me, can't I have a Sunday without Jack here. And I know it's Jack because he is the only one who comes here when my family isn't home. I don't even know if I should open the door for him, I mean last time I did that he was treating me I think or at least intake it as a threat.

I opened the door for him but I didn't let him inside, there is no way he is going inside my house uninvited that is just rude and I don't want to be rude back and besides he have to follow the rules of this house or I will try to call the police.

"What do you want?" I said in an angry voice and I think I deserve to talk to him in a angry voice. He walked closer to go inside but I stopped him sending him a death glare. I don't care if he pretends to be nice so he can just break my heart again but I won't bring down my walls.

"I want to talk, talk as friends" Jack said in a tired voice. I looked at him and saw that he had black bags under his eyes. Did he stay up all night? And friends?

"We are not friends Jackson and there is nothing to say besides I'm busy" I said. I used his first real name because I don't want to be his friend. It is true I'm busy cutting well I'm not started but I will as soon as he leaves, and I hope that will be very soon. I was about to close the door but Jack stopped me and held the door open.

"We were friends so I think there is something to talk about, Elsa" Jack said. I gasp, how did he figure out my name? I thought I was gone out of there life forever well I will be after I'm done killing myself witch I'm doing soon.

"Well then make it quick" I said still not letting him in and I'm still glaring at him with hatred.

"Fine, Elsa I want to know why you are like this and if you don't understand what this means, it means depressed. I know all about your cutting and starving your self and I want to know why, what made you do it?" Jack asked. How did he know about it? Is he spying about me?

"Believe it or not: you" I said as I started walking inside my house. And of course Jack followed me inside. I really hate him, he is just a bitch.

"What did I ever do to you Elsa?" I hate when he uses my real name. I want him gone, I want him out of my house. I sat on the floor and Jack just looked at me confused by my actions.

"Sit this could take awhile" I said as Jack sat to the floor beside me but I moved away from him. If you think I'm going to be with that bitch longer than I have to than you are wrong.


End file.
